Mothers Day is less than a month away. This will be my 16th as both daughter and mother. I get grouchier every year. 

I have poured my life into my children. I've given them myself, all of it, to  give them to you. They, I have to tell you, are awesome. I think you might be too.

And you know what? Fuck the stupid media debate going on right now about who gets to stay home with their kids and whether or not one should. Fucking "Mommy Wars." You know what? The mothers I know -- from sex workers to hippie crunchy mamas, to lawyers -- do not sit around having this debate. We just do not. Yes, there is a basic hypocrisy in saying that an upper class woman should stay home with her children and a lower class woman should not. Let me tell you, hypocrisy from the dumb asses of the world is the least of my concerns. 

And this crap a few months ago about Rush Limbaugh calling someone a whore and  the War on Women from the Right -- only from the Right? I am here to testify that I have been called a whore, to my face, by men I love, by politically better men than Rush, if by better one means Leftist. "Blah blah blah, misogyny is bad, blah blah blah; by the way Windy, I am unhappy with you, I will call you a whore now, in words and deeds." I have been bewhored up and down and all around for no other reason than someone with good progressive, Lefty politics was angry with me and that was how he knew to hurt me the most deeply. And you know how I made him so angry? By prioritizing my children over him because I am a mother.

I have been told I both work too much and work too little by both men and women because I prioritize my children, if the person in question needs something else from me, even an emotional ax to grind.

I'm grumpy. I've been writing about solidarity and love all day for school.  In 10 minutes I'm going to pick my younger kid up from the bus stop. 

I just don't get us. Peanut allergies are bad, so we ban the peanuts, stridently. War is killing mother's children by the truck load, poverty is killing mother's children by the truck load, lack of education is killing them, lack of medical care is killing them. You know what we do? We "blah blah blah, misogyny. Blah blah blah blah, Mommy Wars. Yeah, that's right... Mommy Wars. Did I cite the right people?"

The media debate about abortion. Also stupid. Not only do we clearly not have a  problem murdering anyone, baby or adult, in this country, but speaking as a former teen mom who is not anti-abortion -- does not think it, unlike war and poverty, is murder -- I can tell you, if you do not know, that abortion is often a sad thing worth preventing. If you care about women and if you care about babies, for god's sake, do something to make it possible for us to raise our children in peace. Stop offering to take our children from us. Stop telling us anything but our full right to have motherhood or to not have motherhood is what we are fighting for. Stop putting our babies in ROTC, stop bombing our babies, and feeding them pink goddamn slime with a side order of bullshit and brainwashing in school. Jesus. Stop degrading our babies' mothers and stop killing our babies. Even our grown up babies.

You know what mothers want? We want our children to grow up healthy and strong and good and moral. We'd like some help. We don't give it even to each other far too often. Why is this so hard? That is what I want to see in the media. I want to see an expose on why this is so hard.

There will be more on this with less primal scream. But I need to scream a
bit right now as I countdown to Mother's Day.
I have to get to the bus stop now. Happy Mother's Day, mother fuckers.

Should I end this with a smiley face?

Amy Callner
04/19/2012 7:33am

Amen! And thank you.

05/14/2012 5:55am

Awe, Amy. Thank you.

Bryan Blakeman
05/12/2012 8:00am

Powerful...honest...penetrating! I respect the way you reveal the illusion.

05/14/2012 5:56am

Thanks Bryan. I had a great meeting at my place on Mother's Day, just a couple of us, talking about what is important to us. I keep thinking this is the way forward.

What do you think?

05/13/2012 6:04am

You make me cry with joy.

05/14/2012 5:57am

That is very kind, Billy.

05/14/2012 4:10am

Not a bad article. How ever I dismiss Julia Ward Howe as founder of Mother's day when Congress investigated her claim and duscovered it was Anna Jarvis, s simple farm girl of Grafton W.VA, who truly did the major work of founding a day for celebrating our Mothers. Her mothers and other mom's efforts to rebuild this nation after the Civil War inspired her. The Japanese Emporer said that Mother's day was the greatest gift America has ever given the world. It is the third most popular holiday. Marriage is just a financial agreement, a contract between a man and a woman who agree to have a relationship usually in order to have children ie slaves for the financial class. It has nothing to do with love. Abortion prevents a new life that will be chewed up and spit out by by the unappreciative con artist corporatists. thus the religionists are merely sucking up for power and position and what passes for money these days over abortion, gays or whatever. It distracts us from the real issues at hand. Start with The chains You've put on your mind with which to avoid seeing reality. I'd rather have been raised by a gay couple than the amphetamine addicted person who crippled me and blinded my brother in her botched abortion attempts. Welcome to Reality. It's the only freedom you'll ever get.

05/14/2012 5:58am

I am so sorry to hear that you have had such pain in your life, Virginia.


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